28 July 2013

Outfit + Face of The Night + Dystopian Society concert!

I have so many plans for posts I don't even know where to begin, but those selfies pilling up in my computer folders need to go somewhere, don't they?

A LOT has been happening lately:

  • 2 days ago I had the chance to see Dystopian Society live for the first time. It was absolutely amazing, though at the beginning I didn't like it that much. At first I thought that the vocals were too blasted with reverb and smudged with too heavy [and as always loud] guitars. But maybe it was the beer or the fact that it was my first [and last] ever pogo, the concert and the music were perfect in their energy and sound, I enjoyed every song including my favorites such as Death Signals and No Hope. It was an amazing night. Also the first act were my all time beloved Tanzkommando Untergang in one of their last concerts, which were absolutely amazing as well, the new and not yet recorded songs were great and dramatic! One thing bummered the evening though- the concert was held at a house project so I wasn't allowed to photograph although I asked permission, still can't get over that.
  • Yesterday we went to a party at the island of Treptower Park [and island in the middle of the lake, pretty awesome]. The party was of the "quarter of a year" type, with a big outdoor venue and super expensive drinks. What could have made it better were the presence of air conditioning on the dancefloors, but you see, there were none. So you can only imagine the smell of cooked human flesh that filled each one of three dancefloors, lack of oxygen whatsoever and evaporating heat. During the torturing act of dancing Boris actually had an idea to turn the main heating in each room on for the sake of irony. So the high temperatures have actually put me into a party pooping mood, but spending time with friends talking outside was definitely worth it. Luckily, my makeup didn't smudge a tiny bit. Dunno how.

I've made a faked side hawk because of the heat. I think I shall pass on parties this month, it's impossible to move, besides other great concerts are soon to come.

Speaking of concerts - since I bought Boris a ticker to Portishead as a birthday present, he has decided to get even on me and buy me a ticket to The Cruxshadows, to which I was so grateful.
The Cruxshadows are one of the goth bands I discovered as I was researching the subculture, and I liked their songs a lot. I liked the dancers and violinist they have, and the music sounded very tender  and gloomy to me. They are far from being my favorite band or even my favorite genre of music, but they kind of have a "special babybat place" in my heart, and I'm very curious and excited to see them live on the 1st of August! I hope to take pictures as well!

N. Finsternis

22 July 2013

Summer Goth Outfit Of The Day + Dinosaurs!

Woha, I got 62 subscribers!! O ma Lord!!
Thank you so much for subscribing, this means the world to me and distracts my mind from the awful day I had today! Welcome new subscribers, feel yourself at home and beware my cynicism.

Yet I have literary had one of the worst days this year.....

  1. Boris and I got a 40 euro fine in the train for "not driving in the hour our train ticket is prescribed to." Out ticket is from 10:00 in the morning, and of course we forgot that because there was no tackle with this before ever, and what do you know- 10 minutes before it was 10 o'clock we get on the train, the ticket control guy catches us, takes our names and address, and each of us has to pay a tone of money for simply forgetting. For fucking 10 minutes. This broke me.
  2. But it didn't quite break me as the second tragedy today. I didn't pass my language test which I made back in June. I mean I did, except for only 1 subject in the test in which I got not enough points, the rest 3 subjects were perfect. I've cried, and then I went to sleep in order to wake up with new strength and fight power, facing the fact that I would need to make the test again, and waste 150 euros for it.
Thank you for reading my pain. And now the outfit.

Oh look how happy I am, unlike today. Ok I'll stop now....
Tank Top - from an Israeli brand [Castro] a few years ago.
Skirt - outlet of an Israeli brand [Renuar] ages ago!!
Stockings - I don't even remember.
Shoes - Deichman.
Glasses - random shop in the quarter Neukolln in Berlin [resembles the Hadar neghborhood in Haifa, Israel].

This is the far "goth" that I can dress in the last days [not nights, nights are bearable]. The stockings were the most far I could go. When it's deadly hot outside [not to mention when I lived in Israel] I can only wear a tank top [or t-shirt] and something short. I don't always use sunscreen, because I am too lazy to apply it and I manage to avoid sunlight in a way...
Funny that in so many "how to goth summer" videos in youtube you would get advices wearing see through clothes like mesh or fishnet. Pff, if I to wear something like this I would have died and melted with me makeup.....

We went to the Naturkunde [Natural History] museum a few weeks ago. It was awesome and sad at the same time.
Awesome it was hence the huge dinosaur skeleton they have there [I was a huge dinosaur fan when I was a toddler] and the very interesting fossils [after watching tons of David Attenborough documentaries we were like "Bitch Please! I'ma fucking know what's this fucking fossil even fucking looked like!"].
The most amazing part were the crystals, a huge room full of absolutely astonishing in their beauty minerals and crystals... wow, I could have walked there all day gazing at them, that was magical.
The sad part was that the other half of the museum was a gallery of stuffed wild animals, insects, birds and some ancient creatures, but that didn't quite matter to us, because we were walking there with long faces looking at those once alive animals. If I was a little kid walking there I would have cried....

Here are some photos of the fossils and dinosaurs!

Have a nice hot day everyone!

Finish sounds very interesting to me, but somehow resemble Japanese....

N. Finsternis

19 July 2013

The Goth Challenge - Day 6

Day 6: Hand write your favorite lyrics and take a picture.

Fuck you! I won't hand write anything, my hand writing is ugly and unreadable. If only they were handing out p.h.ds in medicine based on handwriting...

 But I shall intrigue this question, by saying that I don't really have  particular lyrics  that I love.
I mean, I suppose I only have several lines that I would love from a song, but only very rarely the entire lyrics. The entire lyrics of a song can sometimes sound just nice to me without a special meaning. It is only rarely when I love all the words I hear and find meaning in them.

I guess my favorite lyrics would always be by Cocteau Twins, they have so much meaning, I understand even without reading it [get it? get it? :DDDD]

I know what I shall do, I will put here quotations or full lyrics with the link to the songs which lyrics I currently like best. It can be great if you could relate to them as well, tell me which ones you liked best :)
Here goes:

Kan Kan - Memories And Dreams - finding the lyrics to this song is impossible, I am writing what I heard:
" When the shadows ... cast a spell, it's a trick of the light I know so well. "
" This shadowplay belongs to yesterday."

Kan Kan - Blue Tango
"Take your partners for a tango
While we still have time to dance
Take your partners for a tango
You won't get a second chance

A puppy lying on an empty floor
The strings are broken on a blue guitar
A crazy smile strikes a familiar chord
A silent memory has its own reward

Take your partners for a tango 
While we still have time to dance

Goodbye Harlequin
This pantomime is over
(Take you partners for a tango)
This pantomime is over

A careless promise made beneath the moon
Decays with time into a hollow tune
Your laughter echoing beneath the stars
Still plays a love song on my blue guitar

Take your partners for a tango 
While we still have time to dance."

Opeth - April Ethereal
" The rain was waving goodbye, and when the night came
The forest folded its branches around me
Something passed by, and I went into a dream.
She- laughing and weeping and once. "

Opeth - Hope Leaves
In the corner beside my window
There hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason
I'd never notice
A memory that could hold me back

There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking
And I know you'll never return to this place

Gone through days without talking
There is a comfort in silence
So used to losing all ambition
Struggling to maintain what's left

Once undone, there is only smoke
Burning in my eyes to blind
To cover up what really happened
Force the darkness unto me "

Opeth - Closure
"... In the rays of the sun I am longing for the darkness..."

Stillste Stund - Alice [Spiegeltanz] - Mirrordance
"Komm tanz mit mir in die Spiegelwelt
Komm tanz mit mir bis der Vorhang fällt
Es gibt keine Schatten in einer Welt ohne Licht
Komm tanz mit mir bis der Spiegel bricht!"
- Translation - 
Come dance with me in the mirror world,
Come dance with me until the curtain falls
There are no shadows in a world without light,
Come dance with me till the mirror breaks.

Когда раздеты до костей, мы так похожи друг на друга
Мне всё равно, кто я, кто ты, мой лучший друг или подруга
- Translation - 
When stripped to the bone, we so resemble one another
It doesn't matter who am I, who are you, my best friend or girlfriend.

Sopor Aeternus - Something Wicked This Way Comes
Perhaps this is the saddest story, full of pain and hurt
Because of all the names and phrases of this mortal world
There is only one that I hate more than any other
And this most disgusting term is the one of mother.

That would be enough for this time.
Till the next challenge,

Talk about another song which lyrics I like...

N. Finsternis

16 July 2013

Deathrock Outfit of the Night!

This weekend we attended a one year post punk~goth party at Zitadelle Spandau.
Now, this Zitadelle thing [where Boris saw his Portishead concert] is an actual castle thing where events are held. And apparently, goth party once a year!

Fucking looks like this, insane, huh?

Although we had to drive through the ENTIRE town to get there, it was an amazing party and it was worth it. We had a great time with 2 of our best friends. The music was also surprisingly good, very dancy and a lot of hits were played.

This was my outfit and makeup:

 Boris wore his high heels in the beginning, but the floor at Zitadelle was covered with small rocks and it was a nightmare walking on the with anything but sneakers. So Boris was lucky to switch back to his all star shoes, and I was dreaming on doing the same. Walking after a couple of beers on those stones even with solid platforms was horribly uncomfortable!

 Me and beautiful Marta of Tanzkommando Untergang.

 Can't tell why my hair looks more ginger than blonde on some photos. But I'm planning to make it ginger anyway in the near future.

 I've missed doing creative makeup! I have recently bought a primer, so the eyeshadow can no magically stick to my lid and move nowhere from there, I was so satisfied with it!!!!
I've also used white powder, a product I was smart enough to bring with me from Israel but I've completely forgot about it!

And yes, I gave myself a fringe, because a side fringe is too mainstream for my humble self, and that I am not me without a proper fringe ^^
It's a bit messy, but I am very happy of the result, face looks a lot better with it.

Somehow I ended up looking like a mixture of punk and deathrock, not sure even if one call mix those two without getting the same result, so I hope I've just made sense :D

N. Fisnternis

13 July 2013

The Goth Challenge ~ Day 5

Haven't done this in a while. The first to notice that I'm not doing the challenge chronologically gets a cookie!

Day 5: Is there a local goth band or group in your area?

How did you know? There are a lot actually, as to should I remind you one of the reasons we moved to Berlin... There are probably more goth bands from all over the world that come to try their luck in Berlin more than there are actually Berlin based bands, if you know what I mean. Although it may seem like there are tons of them, actual goth bands are pretty hard to find in Berlin [hipsters took over].The only survivors or band who are actually Berlin based and strictly goth which still make music are listed here.


A band of 2 good friends, Brita and Kokel. They can be described as deathrock. I really like their music and their live concerts are a lot of fun. Too bad they don't perform that often. Make sure to check them out on facebook!

Tanzkomanndo Untergang

Unfortunately split only last month [!!] this band of another 2 good friends [I am not corrupting this fifth challenge I swear!] has probably had a huge impact on my experience in the subculture. Not only is the singer Marta one of my best friends, also the bass player Sergej is hilarious and taught us a lot about how things go in the scene here. Both make amazing Russian speaking company. Should I tell you it broke my heart to hear they've split? Should I tell you that I was honored to take pictures of their shows? I think my heart aches to this on a daily basis, but good friendships never die. And TKU are like one of the best highlights the goth scene in Berlin had seen in a very long time. Let's just say that this band will always be dear to me. Make sure to check them out on Facebook!

Photo is taken by me :P
Fun Fact: Our first ever hangout in Berlin was at a TKU concert, where we first met Brita and Kokel of Gruftschlampen, and Marta of TKU :) It was held in Kopi, a house project filled with punks and colorful walls. I will never forget that night.

The Wings Of Desire

Boris' post punk project! Reincarnated from Junkyard + The Wings Of Desire, Boris is now working on new songs and has decided that although he couldn't find people to make music with [what did I say about goth bands in Berlin in the beginning?] he will perform alone on stage despite everything. I am so excited about it, I can't wait to post here his new songs [and the awesome androgenous photoshoot we made for that occasion]! Meanwhile, I shall put here one of his old songs, please check him out of Facebook!

Picture taken by me :P
Fun Fact #2: Rumor has it that there're more Israeli bands in Berlin than in Israel. But don't take my word for it....

N. Finsternis

9 July 2013

Face Of The Day + Gel Eyeliner Review!

 Everything you see on my face there was made by only one product [except for the lips and a bit of eyeshadow] - Gel Eyeliner by Catrice.

Now, my story with eyeliners may perhaps be similar to everyone else's - I hate liquid eyeliners, they're difficult to handle, they tend to crust and break, they're a nightmare to apply especially in my eyes' case. I also have a huge problem applying liquid eyeliner on my lower lid because it sticks to my relatively long lower lashes and smudges on my face.
Also because of my falling eyelids I constantly need to check if the eyeliner turned out well while applying it, and that I cannot do with liquid eyeliner hence it sticks to my "crease" [or the skin and meat that's covering it. I don't actually have a crease like most people, my lids resemble an old persons'].

With that being said, I had been using gel eyeliner since a long time now.
My first one was L'oreal's, and it was good at first but then it completely dried and was useless, not to mention the company tests on animals so I wasn't even considering buying it ever again.

But the Catrice gel eyeliner is perfect.

  • First off, the company is animal friendly, so not sweat on that. 
  • Second, I've been using the product for 2 months now and it's in perfect condition, and doesn't seem to be wasting so much.
    The brush you see in the picture I bought especially for this eyeliner, and it serves me well for the look above. It is really nice for making edges, on the outer corner of your eye as well as on the inner. 

  • Another pro to this eyeliner is that it never crusts, never creases on the eye [and I suffer from that because of the mentioned facts above], and it just stays there dry, moving nowhere.
    I also never use makeup on my eyelids and only very rarely put eyeshadow on my lids [because it never lasts too long, always smudges, etc etc], and when I colored my entire lid with the gel eyeliner in stayed there the entire day! I was definitely surprised.
  • The gel eyeliner is also great for coloring eyebrows. I used to do that with a black pencil, but it doesn't fully color them, and doesn't stick the little hairs together. But the gel does, so it makes them look smooth and neatly drawn. I believe that if you have shaved your eyebrows and want to carefully draw them, the gel eyeliner would be a great solution, instead of sweating your ass off trying not to mess your eyebrow up because your hand is shaking.

Fun Fact: as seen in the picture, I never color the inner corner of my eye, or in other words- connect the lower line of my eyeliner with the upper. It is due to the fact that my eyes constantly tear in the outer corners, to the extinct that nothing lasts there more than 5 minutes. On very windy [or perhaps random] days my right eye can tear up so much I have to wipe it every couple of seconds with a tissue or with my finger. That's why I always focus on my inner corners, also because it makes my eyes bigger.

And so at last the product review is done :)
By the way, thank you everyone for leaving comments on posts, I am very happy when people reply on posts here, which lately happens quite frequently.
Please don't hesitate and leave a comment whenever you like. I love to hear what you have to say :)

N. Finsternis

6 July 2013

The DIY Stripes Shirt

First of all I would like to thank everyone for mentioning me so kindly in the tagged posts thing, I actually felt recognition with my blog which is for me very important. This tagging thing also pimped the number of my subscribers, thank you so much!!! And than you for all the lovely participants for saying such kind words about my blog! I was touched ^.^

I found this picture on Tumblr not long ago:

I was eager to make something like the stripes shirt on my own, because after cutting cotton shirts so many times I had an experience of how different fabrics looks when cut.
Therefore, for such a creation you will need ONLY an elastic long or 3/4 shirt that is small for you.
Why small? Because the fabric obviously stretches when you cut it horizontally, and you want the shirt to be slim fit [of at least I wanted it so]. Surprisingly enough the local second hand stores and loaded with these kind of shirt in many colors.
After research I found out that the fabric is called Lycra. Think about those clothes that professional sportsmen wear, like a rally stretchy fabric that sticks to your body. Though you must find something not of sports wear of course, and something not too thick [although you're gonna cut it anyway all the way on the back].

Unfortunately I don't have a picture of how the shirt looked before, but here is the result:

The front was left untouched, and only the sleeves were cut all the way horizontally progressing until the bottom, and the back was very thinly cut. I think I will make the stripes on the sleeves thinner, because when I was DIY-ing I didn't have a lot of time, but I like how it looks nonetheless.

So again, the shirt was like one size smaller for me, which is great, but if I walk with a straight back then the stripes are stretched and it looks just like n the picture. But as I walk with my back curved almost all the time [a destructive habit since childhood, don't do that] they tend to hang a little bit, which is fine by me because I love how it looks anyway.

This was very fun to make, nothing like using normal scissors to get the job done!
Have an amazing gothy weekend you guys!!! ♥

Feeling nostalgic lately because of a very cute babybat incident. Maybe I'll write about it here.

N. Finsternis

2 July 2013

I got tagged!

Thank you so much the lovely Twisted Princess for tagging me! I am flattered!
Check out her awesome blog Darkling Dreams please!! :)

How can I miss this chance to talk about myself? Even describing things about me with actual words. You are too kind....


  • Link back to the person who tagged you [sure did!].
  • Tag 5 blogs with less than 200 followers [sure will!].
  • Get them to tag more bloggers and keep this thing going [sir yes sir!].
5 things you need every day:

  1. Concealer, please! Funny this stupid thing was the first one to come to my mind. Unless I am sick/ spend all day at home I MUST wear a concealer, or else people would ask me if I'm ill/ haven't slept enough/ haven't ate enough/ someone punched me in the eye.
  2. YouTube. I specified this out of "internet" because among all the other websites I daily use, all my hopes and imaginations depend on this website so much.
  3. Tissues. My nose runs 365 days a year.
  4. Tea. Because one isn't really alive without it.
  5. Boris. Do I really need to explain?
5 books you would recommend: [a tough one, I haven't read normal books for quite a while]

  1. The Shadow Of The Wind by Carlos Ruiz Safon. Because it's my favorite book ever, mixing a crime and a gothic novel together, love and the dirty grey streets of Barcelona.
  2. One Flew Over The Cookoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. One of the best books about society and its behavior.
  3. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. Again the society's behavior thing that I like about this book, and if you happen to know Russian like me it is hilarious to read the Slavic slang the characters use. Also if you read Russian read this book in English [or any other second language that you might know] because otherwise you won't understand the sophisticated slang ;)
  4. 1984 by Geroge Orwell. If you don't understand politics like me, this book is great for you, because it is so vicious it gets literary nailed into you're head leaving you frightened and shocked. My experience with this book at the time was similar...
  5. Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson. Finally something not dystopian! A story of an amnesiac who wakes up every morning with the task to remember who she is and who are the people around her. Very thrilling!
5 materialistic wishes for Christmas presents: [you are too cruel...]

  1. An apartment in Berlin, please.
  2. A German citizenship, thank you.
  3. Tons of money, I forgot.
  4. Winklepickers, by the way.
  5. A ticket to Wave Gotik Treffen?

5 places you wish to visit: [ let me at least feel a little bit at home in Berlin, will you?]

  1. Sweden. Somehow I really think I would like it there, the weather, the nature, the people, the language ;) 
  2. Canada. Same here with weather and nature. I like wastelands.
  3. Tokyo! Because I was an anime freak once, and I'm still dying to visit Harajuku!
  4.  Poland, for the sake of the hilarious language I one day promised myself to master, and to get closer to my long lose east European roots!
  5. St. Petersburg. One thing for sure, I hate Russia and everything it conveys, but only because of the white nights, the immortal cultural treasures and the opening bridges would I want to go to St. Petersburg. It would be interesting to see the Goth scene there, somehow I think it exists in that city, but maybe I'm mistaken.
5 Adjectives that describe you: [holding myself back not to write only negative...]

  1. Compromising.
  2. Irrational.
  3. Territorial.
  4.  Creative.
  5. Self centered.
5 things you'd say to people about life: [you want to be depressed or what?]

  1. Today is the tomorrow we thought about yesterday. I've been saying this since I was 13.
  2. You are alone. Nobody will help you, you must endure everything yourself.
  3. If some stupid bitch can do it, so can you.
  4. If someone is intentionally hurting you physically or verbally without any reason or being hurt by you first, destroy them without consideration [definitely something I would say to my kid one day].
  5. If you really wish for something to happen, it will happen. The "big cat" will help you get your biggest desires.
People tagged:

  1. Daughter Of The Jaded Era.
  2. Wheel Of Time.
  3. Writing And The Road To Publication.
  4. A Hand Full Of Fairy Dust.
  5. The Mutant Stomp Friends.

With that taking too long to be done, I shall continue resting after finally putting all those stolen posters on the walls of our new room.
Stay strong my lovely friends!

N. Finsternis